Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Well, well, well. Here I am 13 days from my last blog. 13 days of eating anything and everything including being back on Coke. I really think I am an addict. All I can say at this point is that I need redirection and I need support. My church is starting the First Place program in September. Maybe I need to be where there are plenty of people to turn to when the going gets tough. Not sure what the answer is except I know Jesus is still the answer and He is there for me.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Week Three, Day Two

Oh boy. I think today I had no problem eating the amount of calories I am allowed. The girls and I ate at the mall. I chose China King. Now I had heard that chinese food has more fat and calories than you would think so I looked it up when I got home. Yikes! I think the plate I ordered had at least 1000 calories. Now that is just not right! Thankfully, I didn't eat it all. I left half my rice and half my Honey Chicken. I did eat the whole egg roll. I love those things. So, I am estimating that I had a whopping 700-800 calories for lunch. Even if I had a 1000 I am still under 1698 for the day. But, with leaving part of the food untouched I probably did okay. More later, I think I need a bike ride.

Deut. 30:11-14
Oh, this is good.

God is impressing on me that:
The strength that I need to do the right thing and His will is as close as my heart and my mouth. He has already given me the words. I don't need to look elsewhere.

I've share that:
I want the Lord to be very near me every step I take and teach me to lean on Him.

Thought for the day:
Sometimes when it seems easy is when I am not doing the right thing.

Challenge: My hope can be summed up today in the following words...

I hope that each day I get more and more lost in Jesus love and walk more and more in the light that He is.

Food Diary
I did not eat regular meals. I was too much on the go.
Breakfast: graham crackers, peanut butter/honey, Silk
380 calories
Lunch or Lupper (that's lunch and supper together) :)
China King food- mega calories! About 800
snack: salmon 183 calories
bev. tea and water-100 ca.
Total calories: 1363

Biking for about 10 minutes. That's all my sore arm could take.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Week Three, Day One

Now, it is getting down to the nitty gritty. I am being faced with changes that I need to make. One thing I have got to work on this week is actually eating more if you can imagine that! My fear of eating too much is causing me to not eat enough most days. That has to change because I am still not seeking the Lord enough about what I should eat.

Yes, the calorie limit really surprised me and I will have to wrap my mind around that because the old me is saying I can't lose weight if I eat that many calories. 1689? Are you serious?

Deut. 29:9-11
The Lord is impressing on me that:
That what matters is that I grow in Him and know His will for my life.

I've shared with Him that:
I need a radical change in my thinking.

Thoughts I had to day were:
About God's goodness and love and His power to change lives.

Changes I need to make in food choices:
I am not eating enough for fear of eating too much. That is not giving God control.

Goals for this week include:
1. Really seek what God wants
2.Cook healthy meals
3.walk and ride my bike
4.Eat more and better food
5. Encourage my partners

Food Diary (it doesn't look good)
Breakfast: almond snack bar, Silk
Lunch: PB&J sandwich,water
Supper:Taco Bell crunch wrap
snack: salmon
Not a fruit or or veggie in the whole days. Sheesh.

I didn't count calories today because I didn't do the lesson till night and didn't realize I was suppose to but I will from now on.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Week Two, Day Six Review

I lost 4 more lbs this week for a total of 8.

I have been going over in my mind what I have learned from the questionaires and I really feel I already knew those things about myself. I have known for quite some time that I am an emotional eater. It really hit me how much when I was told the store I worked at would be closing it's doors and my dream job would be over in just a couple of months. I had been losing weight prior to that and doing a fantastic job of it. I was well on my way to having 30 lbs. off when I got the news. I began to eat like crazy. Especially, sweets. But, then I started back guzzling Coke and eating McDonald's. Comfort food. Yeah, right! I was really feeling comforted when I put back all weight I'd lost plus 10 more pounds making me weigh in at my heaviest ever in my life!
I know that I know that I know that I have got to turn to the Lord when I want to overeat. If I can't learn to turn to Him for fulfillment then I am undone. That's what I hope I am learning through this study and the Woman of Beauty Study, as well. Oh, I do hope and pray I am learning it.

Saturday, June 27, 2009


Hmmmm. Did this bible study start getting hard for you at this point? I don't know if I am not spending enough time meditating on the scripture or what but I am not receiving anything when it comes to questions like how am I going to change my view of relationships from now on. I think I need some guidance on this one.

John 17:20-23
God is impressing on me: I wrote that to be one with Christ is to be one with God and to be in Him is to be loved in the highest way possible. With love like that I should be able to conquer anything.

Food Diary
Breakfast: banana pudding
Lunch: Pastrami sandwich, pretzels, carrot, water
Supper: graham crackers and peanut butter, apple
Snack: laughing cow cheese -1 wedge

Fruits and Veggies: Not up to what I should have. Why is it so hard to work in those things?

Walking around Walmart with my son while he was getting his tire changed

I was able to limit my banana pudding to one serving. I thought I would have a hard time staying out of it.

Thursday, June 25, 2009


Ahhhhhh, I just got home from an invigorating walk in the Chickamauga Battlefield. I just love going there. Jazzie and I parked at Snodgrass Hill, got out of the van armed with lots of fortitude and a bottle of water and headed down the hill. We saw deer along the way. I wish I had brought my camera. We headed into the woods and walked about 20 minutes and then headed back. After 20 minutes of speed walking I slowed it down to a relaxing pace and enjoyed the scenery. So, I got a good 40 minute walk in and that beats anything I have done so far.

Romans 14:13-23

There is so much out there about what we should eat and what we should not eat that it can get very confusing. My Mom says, "Have a well balanced diet of all the food groups and eat in moderation all things." Dr. Malkmus says get off the meat, dairy, processed food and sugar and eat mostly raw fruits and veggies. Atkins says meat is the way to go! Other sources say eat 6 small meals per day and some say eat three meals and don't snack! It's enough to choke a horse, all these suggestions, opinions and ideas. I myself lean toward the all natural way. What could be more healthy than eating what grows in the ground or on a tree? I would love to be a vegetarian but once in awhile meat just tends to call my name and I have to answer. I especially love fish.

God is impressing on me:
I had a memory of when I first fell in love with my husband and how it made me forget food entirely. Wouldn't it be great to be so engrossed in Jesus that food just didn't hold any power over me?

I've shared with the Lord that:
Lord, I desire to have my mind so much on you and the things you would have me to do in my life that food no longer is what I think mostly about. I pray that you will help me eat to live and not live to eat.

To answer the question about resisting a food that would offend someone I was eating with. I think the only way that would come up is if they were on a diet and I was sitting there eating foods that they were trying to avoid. If I knew this about them then I would hope I would have the courtesy to eat something that would not make them feel deprived. If I was eating with someone who thought eating certain things was wrong then I would not eat those things in their presence either.

Food Diary
Breakfast: two pieces of toast w/butter, grape juice

Late lunch:
Ham and beans, cucumbers, tomatoes and carrots, tea

Even later supper, too late actually, so I will have to stay up three hours after I ate it:
Pastrami sandwich, pretzels, water

apple, tropical ice

40 minute walk with Jazzie

Victory today
I got some things done around the house that I had been putting off and I didn't overeat.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009


I Corinthians 12:12-26

This is using the human body to illustrate how the body of Christ (his people) should be toward one another. Even though everyone is different there is no one who is not needed. We all have a function to carry out.

God is impressing on me: To care and to share in my sister's needs and to rejoice when they rejoice. To help them know that they are important and encourage them in their abilities.

I've shared with the Lord that: At times I am jealous of what others can do and good things that happen to them. Like when I see happy couples, it is hard for me to rejoice with them, but I know I should. Jesus wants me to. When others lose weight faster or are already slim I sometimes get uncomfortable around them. Lord, help me to have your thoughts and the right attitude toward good things that happen to others.

A victory I had today
I took a walk when I really didn't want to.

Food Diary
Breakfast: one cream puff, cereal and milk
Lunch: no lunch (ducking and running from Wyndy)
Supper: Ham and bean soup, cucumbers, tomatoes
Snacks: iced tea, apple
I had about 48 ounces of water today.

I walked Jazzie for 20 minutes

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Week Two, Day Two

It's been a day of learning. I have been very irritable for the past three days. Today as I did my devotions the Lord seemed to be telling me at least part of the reason if not all. Alexis had mentioned in one of her blogs that she loves when bible studies that you are doing crossover. Today's lesson was exactly what I read in my Women of Beauty bible study just a few days ago. It really sank in today.

Phillipians 2:1-4

The Lord impressed on me that:I have been depressed this week because I was focusing too much on me and not enough on others doing this study.

I've shared with the Lord: Thank you Lord for showing me this and I ask you to help me be aware of others and not just myself.

To be a good prayer partner I will change:

  • How I pray
  • How I communicate
  • How I listen

A victory I had today: I really wanted a Coke so bad on my way to get Amy from crosscountry practice. I swung into the market and got a water instead.

Food Diary

Breakfast: raisin toast
Lunch: potato salad, green beans, green onions, tea
Supper: Lean Cuisine 3/4 of one, tomato sandwich, tea

I did not do well with veggies and fruits today. Only 3 servings.

I walked with Amy and Jazzie for 30 minutes.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Week Two, Day One

In spite of what happened in the following report I lost 5 lbs. my first week!

This will be a running blog today. Right now, I want to tell about my weekend and how easy it is to revert back to old habits when you get out of your routine and environment.
We went to the lake all day Saturday. I took lots of soft drinks in the cooler for the kids and other people who were going to be there. I was sure I could stick with my water at the time. I planned on it. Good grief! When we got there we were no more than unpacked and I grabbed a grape soda pop. It was almost like, automatic. I didn't think about it except of how good it would taste. That was followed by another and another. My only redeeming quality was that I didn't take any Coke so I didn't drink any but, what if I had decided to take Coke to the picnic? I most likely would have drank it and ruined a whole week of being free from the caffeine addiction. I did drink two bottles of water while there so that is a good thing, too.
As far as food goes, I didn't do that bad. My worst thing was the 4 miniature candy bars I ate.
Later, after the lake we went to a friends house to watch movies. We basically had junk food there. Ice cream, cookies, crackers, candy. I didn't eat candy but I helped myself to the ice cream, crackers and cookies. Sunday was a continuation of Saturday. We went to the same friends house in the afternoon and I ate more ice cream. But, I had a healthy supper there.
Okay, so I learned something about myself. I didn't pray for strength to eat right at the lake. I didn't plan ahead how I would eat and what I would limit myself to so I really set myself up for failure. We will be going to the lake again Saturday if it doesn't rain and this time it will be different! I do believe the key was that I did not pray for guidance at all for the weekend. More to come...

On to today's lesson

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
We need each other to go through this life with it's turmoil and challenges.

God impressed on me that:
Even though these verses brought back some memories I would rather have stayed away about lost friendships He reminded me that I am never alone. I have His Son Jesus Christ with me all the time.

I've shared with the Lord that:
I am very sorry for forgetting about Jesus sometimes.

I did not really know what to do with this one. If anyone reads this, know that I do need your support during this bible study.

Possible prayer partners:
1. Wyndy
2. Wanda
3. Alexis

Food Diary
Breakfast: cereal with milk, apple
Lunch: pork&steak kabob, zucchini, yellow squash
Supper: Peanut butter and jelly sandwich, two carrots, milk
snacks: popcicle

Victories today:
I was able not to binge today even though I ate too much over the weekend. Too much may not be accurate. More like, the wrong things.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Week One, Day Six

I made it! It's actually the sixth day and I have had a pretty successful week so far. I almost forgot to eat supper today, though. I was not even hungry and realized I hadn't eaten. It's hard to keep a schedule when you are running kids here and there all day. I am going to have to work on how I can do that better.

What would I expect God to do for me in:

1. Eating habits- Help me get organized to be able to cook healthy meals and give me strength to say no to things that will sabotage my weight loss.

2. Attitude about my weight- Give me confidence in myself no matter what I weigh

3. Attitude about over-weight people- compassion

4. Attitude toward thin people- to not envy them and feel uncomfortable around them

What new principles has the Lord taught me this week:

1. To put the past behind me. Don't think about it. Look to now.
2. He listens to me and he thinks of me all the time
3. He will do the changing in me and will do it for His glory.

How can I be more faithful next week?:

1.Get up earlier and organize my day better so I have time to cook and eat at home.
2. Ask Him for guidance more

What are ways I can stray from the Father's love and protection?:

Doing things on impulse instead of thinking about what He would want me to do.
I will arise and go to my Father........I can run to Him all the time, anytime, for anything.

Victories from my first week:
I have lost some weight (I peeked early)
I haven't had a Coke for 5 days
I'm eating healthier

Defeats from my first week:
I had one bad part of the day when I was depressed and angry but I prayed and He helped me get over it. Lord, help me to continue to look to you for my joy.

Goal that I accomplished:
I had two goals for the first week: Be faithful to the study replace Coke with water and juice. I was successful in both goals PTL!

I am surrendering to God: My appetite and my lack of motivation
I am choosing to be more obedient in: getting up early and cooking healthy meals.

*note* I copied and pasted my questions and answers from Word here but it wouldn't allow it.

Anyway here is my week two goal list:

1. Continue No Coke, More Water
2.Eat 5 servings of fruit and veggies each day
3.Get up at 7 a.m. every morning
4.Cook more healthy meals
5.Walk at least 20 minutes per day at least 5 times in the week.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009


Here I am at day 5. Just a beginning compared to my compadres. It's been a good day. I haven't had supper yet and am wondering what I will eat. Not a good plan aheader yet. I've done very good with water today and it's my 4th day with no Coke. I've noticed myself feeling really happy today. I was standing in line at Wal-Mart and realized I was smiling and I felt good inside. I haven't felt that way in a very long time.

Ezekiel 36:33-36
God is impressing on me that
I am not going to be the one that does this new thing. He will be doing the changing in me. The renewing , the rebuilding, the restoring of my ways, attitudes and my life and He will do it for His glory that others may see the change and know that God is working in my life.

I've shared with the Lord that

I want to trust Him to do these things and I want to wake up every day asking Him for help and obeying what He wants me to do.

My thoughts today are
Positive thoughts. It did cross my mind once that I wish I could speed up this process of losing weight but then I would be taking control and not letting God be in control and I don't want that.

Food Tracking
Breakfast: nectarine, shredded wheat with milk and honey on it
Lunch: Ham sandwich, milk
Supper: Crunch Wrap Supreme at Taco Bell, water
Snacks: banana, graham crackers, popcicle

Weekly Goal Reminder
Replace Coke with water and juice

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Week One, Day Four

I'm feeling kind of alone here. Wyndy and Wanda have been sick (get well fast girls) and Alexis is probably being her usual busy bee self. I'll be glad when I hear from you all again. My muscles in my legs are mad at me today for what I put them through yesterday. They will get over it. They better because I am going to put them through it again tomorrow probably. I keep telling myself to go for a walk today but, so far.......... I'm not listening.
I am having a hard time staying at this level in the study. I want to rush ahead and see what comes next but, I know I need to take it one day at a time and do the bible reading and soak up what I need to learn right here where I am right now. It is different for me to set goals for change and not for weight loss. It's hard to not plan how I will lose X amount of pounds in X amount of time. But, I like the idea of tracking change. That is good.

Ps. 28:7 The Lord is my strength and my shield, my heart trusted in Him and I am helped. Therefore my heart greatly rejoices and with my song I will praise him.

God Is Impressing on Me That
I'm not hearing much of anything today. Is that normal?

I've Shared With the Lord That
That I am in this for keeps.

My Thoughts Today Are
Good thoughts are not really coming easy today. My mind seems to be flitting here and there and some thoughts of the past are trying to creep in but I don't let them stay. I feel a little off my feed today. (Not to be confused with off my rocker). I was in the van driving to pick up kids and those old memories starting tormenting me. I started praying and before I knew it I was there and had someone in the van to talk to.

Breakfast: Watermelon
Lunch: Turkey sandwich, cucumber, carrot and milk
Supper: a chocolate milkshake
Snack: watermelon

None. My muscles were sore and I couldn't get motivated to make them hurt worse.

Goal reminder:
Replace Coke with water and juice.
*Note* I have not had a Coke for 3 days.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Week One, Day Three

It's Monday. What can I say! Okay, I woke up determined to have a positive attitude. Well, okay maybe determined is not the word. More like "willing" to have a positive attitude. Mornings are never a good time for me. I am a much more positive person at night. I am doing pretty well though. I am having a caffeine withdrawal headache so that isn't helping. I really feel the Lord with me and that is something really positive!

Later 10 p.m. The day has been rewarding. I got myself motivated to go get some exercise so the kids, the dog and I went to the Battlefield where I walked up the tower there. 136 steps. Jazzie and I then walked around for another hour while Amy showed me how many times SHE could climb the tower. LOL. She went up and down 15 times. Showoff! Here is a picture of the tower. It's one of our favorite places to go.

Ezekiel 11:19-20

God is impressing on me that:
He doesn't want me to harden my heart to the things He wants to do in my life.

I have shared with the Lord that:

I do not want to have a heart of stone. I want my heart to be soft and pliable for him to teach me what I need to learn.

My thoughts today are:
Right now I am thinking about making it through the day. I want to make good choices and I want to please the Lord.

Breakfast: Shredded wheat w/milk, orange juice Lunch: Pastrami sandwich, cucumbers, a carrot, avacado slices, water Supper: Turkey on wheat, laughing cow cheese wedge, orange juice snacks: glass of milk


Climbed 136 steps up and down Wilder Tower in Chickamauga Battlefield. Walked around the battlefield with Jazzie. Yay me!

Week One Goal: Replace Coke with water or juice.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Week 1, Day 2

I weighed today. It was worse than I suspected. But, I'm not down about it. This is the first time I have really ever seriously approached weight loss depending on the Lord to change me from inside out. It's amazing the pressure that it takes off of you. It's only been two days and I have made no major changes yet but I am looking forward to the next day and the next day and the next.

*****Breakthrough***** I was on my way out the door about an hour ago. My destination was the gas station to get a Coke. I had my hand on the door handle and I heard the word "No". I'm like, "Huh? What was that?" Then I heard it again. That still small voice said, "No, don't go. You don't need it." I am serious! I was not thinking about not going. I said a little reluctantly at first, "Ok". Then I walked back into the house and as I was walking I said a little stronger.. "Ok, Lord I will obey you." Wow. I didn't go! I am sitting here drinking a glass of water instead.

Ps. 40:1 Have you ever gotten a mental picture of this verse? I did today and I was shouting it all over the house. "I waited patiently for the Lord: and he inclined to me and heard my cry."
I saw God leaning down closer to me to hear what I was saying. Wow! He inclines to hear us. He bends down. What we have to say is precious to Him.
vs. 2 He has brought me out of a horrible pit. Jesus is the Rock that I am on and I need to realize that I am out of that pit and act accordingly.

vs. 3 This is my favorite bible verse. Today I really felt that he has put a new song in my mouth. Lord, let me raise that song to you.

vs. 8 "I delight to do your will o my God, and your law in within my heart."

God is impressing me that: He has already given me victory. I just need to obey him.

I've shared with the Lord that: I will work on obeying Him.

Thoughts I have had today: My thoughts have been praise today. All about what Jesus has done for me and praising Him.

What I ate today:
Breakfast: grapes, two small cream puffs, and oatmeal cookie and orange juice. This the stuff they serve at church. Yes, our church serves breakfast!

We ate out after church at Fazoli's. I thought I was getting something healthy. Their new Sun-dried tomatoes and artichoke pasta but it turned out to have a heavy sauce on it that I think may have been loaded with butter. I didn't eat it all and I had breadsticks and I DID have a Coke there. I ordered it without thinking.

Supper: Peanut butter and honey sandwich and water.

Late night stress: It's 11:00 p.m. and the kids were suppose to have lights out right now. No, they are up getting drinks, doing last minute stuff in the bathroom they should have done before 10:00. Jennifer forgot to do her chores and I am in here trying to do my bible study and I feel the stress boiling up inside of me. I did not like the feeling. I want it to be all cozy, warm and snuggly
feeling before bed, ya know? Ok, I calmed down after I lectured and kissed them and now I'm here. I didn't raid the fridge so that's something....... anyway.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Study 1, Week 1, Day 1

My online friends Wyndy, Wanda and Alexis were talking about the weight loss bible study they were doing. I wanted to get in on it so I checked it out and here I am. I am excited already just from reading the bible verses for Day One. Wow! What could be more encouraging to someone who has a hard time letting go of past failures, hurts, and junk than to read that God wants me to forget. He tells me to forget it! I needed to hear that and even though I have read those verses before this was the day I let it sink in.

God is impressing on me that: He wants me to totally let go of my past. All the failures, shortcomings, and bad things that have happened even as recently as yesterday if I need to. Because, He is going to do a new thing in my life.

I've shared with the Lord that: With his help and loving reminders I will let go and let Him heal me of those hurts. I will let him do a new thing in my life.

Thoughts I had today: It's hard to say this but I am going to be honest. I had a lousy day. My thoughts were filled with negative things. I find that when I am alone I dwell on hurts from the past. They just seem to flood my mind and I can't stop them. I dropped my kids off at their favorite Saturday night hang out, our church, and I found myself alone......again. So, I came home and looked up the bible study and read Isaiah 43:18-19. Just what I needed. Thank you Lord. What are my thoughts now? Ones of hope.